think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize