I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
