dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
