Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
