I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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