how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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