how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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