Don't make out with my wife yet
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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