she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
