Betty ford says i'm here all night
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
