Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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