I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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