if only i could text you this smell
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
