ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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