Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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