I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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