oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
