i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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