Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
