i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
