dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
