i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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