Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
