6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
