thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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