if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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