Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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