Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
