I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
