when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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