some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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