Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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