the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
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I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
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I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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