Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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