Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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