He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
