So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
