i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Randomize
