Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
