is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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