You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
