When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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