i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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