i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
