I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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