Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
