I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I look better un-naked...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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