i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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