Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
