apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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