So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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