so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
