i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
