i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
