physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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