just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
