i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
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