Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
