No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize