Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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