after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
