? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
