Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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