Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
