I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
