i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
