This girl is more easily done than said...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
