Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
