I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
