Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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