But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
