So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
As shirtless as possible
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
