He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
