This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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