Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Your dad touched me again.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
